"Up until I left for college my bedtime was 9 every night, I wasn't supposed to be on the phone past 8:30, I wasn't allowed to go outside by myself, couldn't have friends over after 7, couldn't go to a boys house until the summer after high school. I had to show my parents my grades every semester to show I was successful. I rode the bus until my senior year because my father wouldn't take me to get my license until I was 17. He pretty much told me I had to attend a certain college because it was a certain amount of time away from home. While I'm in college, my father also made me show him my grades, check in once a week with 3 different family members, and made me move home every summer. Now that I'm applying for masters programs and trying to move away, every conversation ends with an argument about me moving away and trying to start my own life.
My parents were divorced and when my mom died I moved in with my dad and his girlfriend at the age of ten. The first time I told him no he tried to strike me with a belt. He's been paying for my college out of the benefits I received from my mother which I didn't even know about until a brother from my mom's side told me about them. My dad became enraged when I found out about the money, and he cut off communication with that side of the family. Showing grades can be totally normal until parents surprise visit campus trying to fact check. Or, when my then boyfriend took his life and my grades dropped, he told me I was not smart enough for college, was wasting HIS money and needed to drop out.
He and his girlfriend worked all of the time so I went to a babysitter until I was a sophomore in high school. I feel like I don't have the ability to make friends now because my social interactions were really limited due to some of his rules. I didn't really know how to have a relationship with men growing up, I just did whatever would make them happy and not get upset with me. I don't really know how to do a lot of life things myself and thankfully my now boyfriend is slowly teaching me. When I was a sophomore in college, I stayed the night at my then boyfriend's house, and my dad told me I must have just spent the last year in school sleeping around and no one would want me because of it. I live with my now boyfriend, and it's the longest relationship I've ever been in and he's helping me move away. I was accepted to a master's program in Canada and one in my home state, and I'm terrified to leave so I'm going to the in-state one. It's farther away then now, so I see it as a baby step. No one in our family lives outside an hour drive from each other. I'm the first to go to college and actually finish, and I'm going to get away."
"I am still a teenager, so I'm still putting up with my parent's helicopter habits.
My parents were furious when they found out I had watched 'The Hunger Games' at a friend's house. The same thing happens whenever I watch a movie rated PG or above and they're not there to fast-forward through the kissing scenes and mild cursing.
They don't allow me to spend money without telling them first. I once bought a pack of gum without telling them. It wasn't pretty. Long story short, I got my phone taken away for a week after being lectured out for a solid hour.
My dad has software on my phone that tells him whatever I do on the internet. This includes texting and calling. He'll probably see this, but I don't care.
I'd better stop typing now, they might catch me."
"I didn't go to any school dance. Or sports event. So yeah, no prom, nothing. I was not allowed to go to the mall by myself when I was 19-years-old and when I did go to the mall, my dad would follow me around. He'd walk about 5 feet behind me. When I was 20 I said I was going to get a cell phone and got into a big fight with my parents because they didn't want me to have one. I had been working since I was 15 and was going to pay for it myself, etc. I couldn't lock the door to my bedroom (or the bathroom), even in my early 20's. Moving out was the best thing ever. I remember when I was 12 or so, my mom, little sister (7 at the time) and I went to Costco to do some shopping and my dad showed up dressed as a clown (he used to dress up for birthday parties). He followed me and my little sister around honking his clown horn in our ears, yelling at all the guys that he was our dad.
He still shows up at my work and tells my coworker to tell me that my 'daddy' is here to see me. I'm 31. I think the last time I called him 'daddy' was when I was...7? 8? NOBODY calls him 'daddy'.
My parents treated me like I was a kid until I had my own son this August, despite the fact that I've been living on my own, paying all of my bills, handling my business for about 10 years now. It got really weird this year while pregnant because they started calling me their 'baby', and suddenly forgot that I was their oldest. My mom would tell me about my birth, but it was really my sister's birth and such. My sister moved to another state years ago to get away from them (now I see why) and it was just weird like she didn't exist anymore and I was their only child. My parents decided that they were going to have custody of my son once he was born, which is totally delusional, my mother is 90% disabled and can't even sit up by herself and my dad thinks it's okay to have barbecue fires inside the garage and smoke the devil's grass while he drives. I had to change my locks because my dad would show up randomly and follow me around my house yelling all sorts of odd stuff while I had company over. Right before my son was born, I told them that once the baby got here, we are not having ANY unscheduled visitors. No 'we just happened to be in the neighborhood' b.s. I said "I don't care if Jesus Christ himself is at the front door, he wouldn't be coming in'.
Now that my son is here, we go to my parents' house every week or so. My mom will hold him and tell my dad to hold him, and my dad will say 'oh I will later"'and wander off to watch T.V. If he doesn't get to hold the baby before we leave he gets mad, even if we try to get him to do it the entire time we are there. We will see how things go once my son gets older. They will probably try to indoctrinate him with their intense religious beliefs and conspiracy theories....
Other than the weekly visits, I try to limit my interaction with them. They stress me out big time."
"When I was a freshman, my cousin was a senior and through him, I made a lot of friends that were upperclassmen. So at the end of the year, I got invited to go to prom. My parents made my date (who was just a friend) come over two weeks before prom and basically asked him every question imaginable. I guess they thought I could have been inappropriate touched that night but my friend is gay and my parents were well aware. But that didn't stop them, they got his phone number, home number, email - the works. He was super chill about it because my cousin had warned him beforehand.
When prom actually came around, I wasn't allowed to ride in the limo with everyone else. Instead, my mom drove me in her ugly Astro van that looked like the mystery machine and she had my siblings and cousins packed in there. When we got to the venue, she got off with me and asked an administrator if she could stay. Thank goodness he said no. Oh, and I had a curfew. 8:30 pm... it was 7 when I got there.
Sidenote: The Astro van was handed down to me after I graduated, and I loved it until the end."
"I wasn't allowed to hang out with girls when I was younger and one day I was at the school park with some of my friends and there were a couple girls there too. My mom called me on the phone to ask who I was hanging out with. I only mentioned my guy friends. Well, apparently my mom was spying on me with binoculars (the park was just a few blocks from my house).
As soon as she saw the girls, she drove to the park, got out and made a big scene about it in front of everyone, and made me go home. That probably wasn't even the most embarrassing thing she's put me through. There have been countless other situations."
"One night I decided to visit my boyfriend at his apartment for some T.V time and cuddles. I ended up restarting my phone and forgetting the turning it back on. While cuddling in front of the television, I fell asleep. At around midnight, my mom calls and it goes straight to voicemail. Any logical person would just figure the phone died or just didn't have service (very reasonable where I live). But, not my mother.
She called the cops and tried to report me missing, which ended with the police asking how long I had been gone. She responded with 'about 8 hours' and they tell her to wait until morning. At this point, it is about 1 am and I am still asleep, we both are. Fast forward about 2 hours and my mother has called and woken up all of my friends hunting for me with no luck. She calls my best friend and she tells her that I am at my boyfriend's apartment. My mother now knows that I am safe and not missing. This is not enough for her though.
She ends up coming to the apartment after pestering my best friend enough for the location. My best friend doesn't know the exact apartment so she just told her the complex name and went back to bed. I woke up at almost 4 in the morning to my mother banging on the door yelling for me to 'open the freaking door!.' I ran thinking something was wrong and fling open the door to find her red with a metaphorical steam pouring from her ears. She yells for me to get in my truck and get home now. The next day when I went to visit my boyfriend and apologized profusely for what my mother has done, I discover that my mom had banged on every single door until she found the right one. I was 18 at the time. It didn't take much longer before my relationship with my boyfriend ended.
This is one of the very very very many stories."
"My mother would constantly go through my phone and read everything when I wasn't around, and I'd find out when she brought up embarrassing information in front of friends, family and even a crush. Once she found my crush on Facebook and messaged him a super long message that I don't even want to know what it said (all I know is that he was super uncomfortable when he asked me if I knew she had contacted him).
As for the worst part about it: I never felt a sense of freedom. I always felt watched. I was never a bad kid, but I felt violated every day and night. I felt like I never had my own sense of self."
"My mother once drove to my workplace after school when I was 17 to check and make sure I was actually working. She then freaked out at me when I got home because she claimed I wasn't there when really she just didn't drive all the way in the parking lot to avoid being seen since she drives such a distinct car.
That was in her phase of thinking I was on hardcore illegal substances and sleeping with the entire male population of my town. I was an A+ student who worked every day after school plus weekends.I don't know when she thought I'd have time for all of that other stuff."
"My buddy had the worst helicopter mom. We were going to college 3 hours away from his hometown and ended up at a random after bar party with people we met just that night.
His mom showed up (no idea how she found us), walked in and grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out to her car. It probably was a phone tracking thing, I'm pretty sure he was still on a family plan at the time. Anyway, she then proceeded to drive him back to our hometown. The next day, she made him get a ride back to college with his former high school sweetheart he had recently broken up with. She did all this because mom didn't approve of the breakup.
My buddy is now married to a woman who is, in my opinion, also rather controlling. Oedipus is real!"
"When I went away to college, my parents would call me every day. I went away to a fraternity weekend retreat during my freshman year where us pledges weren't supposed to bring our phones. I told my parents that I'm going away for 3 days and not to call me.
On the day we were coming back, the guy driving us got a call. He then hands me his phone and tells me to call my parents.
It turns out, that when my parents couldn't reach me for 3 days, they came to my college, and went around my dorm and half the campus asking everyone if they've seen their lost little boy. I was 18 at the time.
On top of that, since I was on their family cell phone plan, they looked up all the numbers I had recently called and texted. They proceeded to call everyone letting them know I'm 'lost' and asking if they knew where I was. This included girls that I had crushes on but barely knew, random classmates, and mild acquaintances.
When I got back to my worried parents waiting for me at my dorm, I found my cell phone with a bunch of messages of people asking if I'm okay and letting me know my parents are looking for me.
For the next day, every 1 in 5 people I walked passed would ask me if I talked to my parents because they were looking for me."
"My parent's deprived me of the Internet. In grade 9, I was only allowed to use my laptop in the kitchen to do my homework. My parents blocked Facebook, but I found websites that helped me use Facebook chat. In grade 10, I was allowed to take my laptop to my room, but my dad turned my Internet on and off every other hour from 8 in the morning until midnight, at which point it shut off for the night. It was ridiculous because I could never sit down long enough to get any work done before the Internet was gone and I had to wait for the next hour. My dad found out about the chat sites I used as a workaround for Facebook and blocked those. I resorted to using Bing bar's Facebook chat function which was slow and glitchy.
In grade 11 and 12, my Internet was shut off at 1 in the morning and parental controls were removed. I went off and watched Netflix and talked to people all the time, which obviously had a negative toll on my grades."
"Both parents have known, to an extent, mental disorders on top of the whole helicopter thing. Illusions of grandeur from mom, delusions, and paranoia from dad.
My mom would walk me, a girl, through all the details of brutal abuse she could imagine, and dazzle it up with news stories, before going in public anywhere with me or if the subject of men somehow came up. She left me traumatized for a long time, not being able to look at boys or men. I looked at explicit content on the internet out of curiosity or something at 10-year-old and can't really remember due to the trauma that followed. My parents found my search history because I didn't know how to delete it or safely use the internet, and proceeded to interrogate me all night to see the extent to which I was defiled and who must have been abusing me. There was no one.
I was 'homeschooled' and honestly almost threw out names or thought up false events. I was beaten on and off all night till I puked, still was interrogated as I was told to clean up the puke. I could barely move, I was shaking and just felt like I was curling in on myself physically. They accused me of being defensive because I couldn't sit upright and 'normal'. I would sit huddled up. I was struck with a belt from the waist to the back of my knees so bad that I had a blackish welt on my right thigh for a few days. I was told repeatedly by them that this wasn't abused and I deserved it, they had to, because they loved me, and made me hug them after everything, then sleep on the couch. I could not be trusted with a room, they said. I was treated worse than a dog for a year as 'grounding' and still had the event referenced as blackmail for years. I was about 18 by the time they stopped really talking about it. At 20 now, I learned that they actually think they 'may have gone too far' and screwed me up mentally.
You don't say...
But there is a happy conclusion for those that need it, I turned out fine. We still talk, though I plan to cut ties; they're very emotionally dependent and fear that I will leave them. I distanced myself from them, somehow avoided drawing attention to them as the abusers (they are master manipulators) and got myself help by admitting myself to a mental hospital as a teen and then continuing to seek help and getting around my entire family to do so. I don't talk about this stuff anymore or really label my family as anything more than 'not well'. I just want to leave it in the past and define myself by what I do now as an adult.
I never taught of suing or anything because the past is dead to me. I want nothing to do with it anymore and feel like things have changed. My parents are older, I would say mellower and frailer now, still disillusioned but... it's like they're helpless. They're mentally sick people. If anything I would want to get them into care, but I can't disturb the fragile balance of the whole family. This kind of thing goes back generations in my extended family as well. My cousins are getting help and starting to stand their ground as adults, overall we just move on. Life goes on. I'm an adult, I am no longer helpless. I just look at it like a war that ended and now there's relative peace after the fighting just got old. Believe me, my sibling and I both dreamed of storming out and getting revenge when we became adults. But neither of us wanted that when the time came, we only wanted to move on. About 18 years of my life were terrible, I have all the rest of it is as mine chance to build up and out."
"I work in an emergency room and I get sick and tired of helicopter parents bringing their offspring in for ridiculous reasons. I constantly get 'he got a nosebleed a week ago, and again today' or 'she's been having foot pain after gym' etc.
The worst are the parents that bring their over 18-ear-old kids to the E.R because they want them to tested for substance abuse. I love turning to the 'legal adult' and asking 'do you consent to this?'. The parent normally turns BEET red and starts yelling at me about how they are the parent, and they pay the insurance, yadda yadda blah blah. At which point I remind them that their precious child is now an adult and without their child's express consent I cannot perform any tests on them. I've seen more than my fair share of light bulbs go off over the kids head, and they flat out refuse all lab work. To which I tell the parents, 'alright, you heard him. I can't do anything'. This normally ends with a call to the hospital administrator that will then tell them the same thing.
I am also not allowed to give out any information over the phone, as I cannot verify you are the legal guardian, nor in the room without express permission. It's fun to watch people's veins throb when they can't get their way."