Children can be the sweetest, most loving, and affectionate little people. Watching them grow and learn the world around them can be a real treat. As parents, we live to cherish those precious moments. We nurture them while trying to teach them everything we know. We constantly encourage them to understand the good with the bad and the right from wrong.
Unfortunately, it seems like it all goes out of the window as soon as kids form opinions of their own. Let's face it, we do the best we can but kids can be downright brutal!
Parents of Reddit have taken to to internet to air out their most savage run ins with their child. Contents have been edited for clarity.
For most of us, our children are our WORLD. It's a real soul-crusher when they refuse our love. Unfortunately, for this these parents, rejection is all too familiar.
"If my husband isn't home for bedtime, the time immediately after bedtime is vastly different. I go around, cleaning things up, taking out the garbage after I finish the dishes, etc. When I take out the garbage, I go into the garage. The garage door has a distinctive sound that is easily heard from both my children's bedrooms, and it's also where my husband comes in when he gets done with work. EVERY - SINGLE - TIME I come in from the garage, it goes pretty much like this:
Daughter: 'Daddy, is that you?'
Me: 'No, it's me.'
Daughter (very disappointed): 'Oh. Mom. Why are you here?'
Me: 'I live here.'
Daughter: 'Go away. Go get Daddy and bring him home.'
The garbage can in our kitchen is small, so this happens almost every night.”
Ouch! Moms can have it pretty tough when trying to impress their children, but don't fret ladies! Apparently, men fall victim to their child's ruthlessness just as easily. According to this Dad's testimony, his son tore him to shreds daily throughout most of his childhood.
“My son was probably 4 or so and I was giving him a bath. He said, quite calmly and relaxed, 'Dad, I hate you.' Then he stopped and paused, thought about it for a second and said, 'Hate's a strong word, isn't it... Dad, I really, really don't like you.'
I just started laughing.
This was not an uncommon sentiment towards me at that age but it was the first time he'd said it so dispassionately. For him, Mom was love, Mom was life, all else paled in comparison. He's since changed his tune once he discovered Dad would take him on rollercoasters. Without the yearly fair, I'm pretty sure I'd still be a big fat zero in his eyes.”
Speaking of kids who are persistent in what they want, these kids jump completely overboard for their fascination with "observing" women. For their future's sake, let's hope they can swim with the sharks. These moms are raising some true savages.
“On holiday in Spain, I was sitting on the sun beds by the pool with lots of people around. Some kid’s mum was sunbathing in a bikini when all of a sudden the kid hits her with this sledgehammer: ‘Mummy, why are everyone else's knockers all up here makes cups gesture with hands high up on his chest and posh, when your knockers are down here lowers cup hands considerably, to near his waist and not posh like theirs?’ Critical hit. Kid's a savage. A villain. A proper menace. His mum's face dropped like her head was about to fall off. Everyone around glanced over. They heard. She knew it. She just came back with a major letdown for everyone in attendance: ‘Oh, I don't know.’ To be fair, there was really no recovering from that one. The kid was oblivious, obviously, and goes back to the pool while his mum is left to pour water on her burns and ponder where she can get a 'posh' chest from.”
There's no doubt that when boys become a "certain age" they get obsessed with female attributes. Unfortunately for this woman, her 3-year-old nephew has zero filter. She got the raw and uncut evaluation that no one asked for.
“When my son was around 3 he came to cuddle with my sister. He enjoyed laying on top of me while I laid on the couch, and he found her in the same position so he took advantage. He lays on her with his head on her chest and starts squirming. He finally turns around, tries to ‘fluff up’ her bosom, and finally fed up when that didn’t work he yelled ‘Kiki! Why you have such little milk sacks?!?’ She just said ‘some girls just do’ in a pitiful voice, and he climbed down and went to play. It was hilarious from my side. But don’t think I haven’t been zinged by him as well. He was only a little older when he followed me into my room after a shower. I told him to turn around because he was getting super interested in the “boys are different from girls” thing, and kept staring at me. So he thinks he’s sneakily turned back around without me noticing, and I say ‘hey, quit looking at my girls!' and he yells ‘They were looking at me first!”
Children are the most observant little beings. They pick up on any and everything. Unfortunately, with observation comes some very "genuine" opinions. Ever asked a child if they like your outfit? No? Good. Save yourself the embarrassment.
Unlike clothes, however, physical appearance cannot be changed on a whim. But never fear! Toddlers are infamous for letting you know exactly how they feel about it.
“I was getting dressed when my 3-year-old walked into the bedroom. I was lost for words as I stood there topless, so all I could mutter was, 'Hi buddy!'
Ruthless Toddler: ‘Mummy, you look like the hulk.' The little prick just walked off as I cradled what was left of my self-esteem."
There's no comparable feeling like finally seeing some small results from your new diet or exercise routine just for your child to point out your "extra cushion" in such a harsh way. Although the complete dismissal of your efforts can be soul crushing, what about when you're completely minding your own business, then BOOM! Surprise ambush.
“I was sitting on the couch with my girlfriend and her nephew and he was staring at me.
Nephew: ‘What's wrong with your neck?’
Me: ‘What? Do I have a bruise or something?’
Nephew: ‘No, you have like a big thing sticking out.’
Me: ‘Oh, that's my Adam's apple.'
Nephew: ‘Oh... Is it always going to be like that?’
Me: ‘Ummm.... yes?’
Nephew: 'That's really gross looking.'
Me: 'Gee, thanks, pal.'
He then got up and walked away completely unbothered."
Kids are generally rollercoasters of emotions, but this young man has nothing but persistence.
“My nephew, at 2, was quite the little player. At the beach, he found a sand dollar and brought it to his mother to show her. She took it, intending to bleach it later, and gave him a kiss as a reward. A few minutes later, he brought me another one, earning him another kiss, this one from his aunt. A few minutes later, a third to my mom, who also kissed him.
A pattern had emerged.
He spent most of the afternoon digging up sand dollars and giving them to every pretty lady on the beach, expecting a kiss in return. This came to a head when he rushed up to some girl who was walking by with her quite large mother. The mother, who had seen what my nephew was up to, bent to take the sand dollar, but got the dirtiest look a toddler can manage instead. He kept the sand dollar from her and kept trying to give it to her daughter. He eventually got his kiss, but the game was over, by enforcement of his mother, aunt, and grandma.”
“My then 8-year-old sister went complete savage mode on a lady who tried to steal my grandfather’s dog at his funeral. Apparently, the dog was originally hers, but she gave him to my grandfather 7 years prior. When he went to have hip surgery, he asked her to watch the dog until he was released from the hospital. She wouldn’t watch him, claiming she had better things to do. So when Pop Pop died, she tried taking the dog back claiming that she loved the dog so much. Well, my sister wasn’t allowing that to happen. Basically, she got into a screaming match with a 40-year-old woman named Karen that started off a little something like:
Sister: ‘You didn’t want the dog when Pop Pop was alive, you don’t get him when he’s dead.’
Karen: ‘But he’s my dog…’
Sister: ‘Oh yeah? Now he’s mine. Get off your (explicits) and do something about it, Karen!
I had never been more proud of her until that moment. We got to keep the dog. He’s still running around enjoying life at 14.”
Pop Pop's legacy might have been given justice through his young granddaughter's tenacity, but Karen and her daughter were left to lick their wounds after that showdown. Honestly though, who would feel bad for dognapper? While you may not sympathize with Karen, have you ever been or ever witnessed a woman get grilled like burnt barbecue by her new boyfriends 9-year-old daughter? Liz definitely wasn't prepared for this one!
“My father was slowly introducing me and my sister (at the time we were 12 and 9 respectively) to his first girlfriend (let's call her Liz) after our parents divorced. We started going out to eat together to get to know her and I picked up the fact that they were dating almost instantly but my sister didn't. In one night, my little sister managed to say: ‘Do you have a boyfriend Liz?’ ‘What do you want from my dad?’ ‘Dad it was so nice when you and mom were together’ ‘Dad do you still love mom?’ All of our mouths dropped to the floor as no one really had a response. Finally, my dad chimed in and excused my sister to her room. Liz ate the rest of her meal in silence, and I'd never seen a grown woman look more defeated than Liz did that day. Now, 7 years later they're happily married and we joke about this all the time, but jeez, kids can be so cruel.”
“So last year, my family and I were at a Walmart, because my mother is in one of those groups that posts about products being labeled cheaper than they should (because Walmart has to sell them at that price if they do it.) She was going to buy a waterslide and pulled the listing from their website up on her phone. So she gets the waterslide, brings it up to the desk, and they have to call someone out cause the price doesn't match the one on the website. So this guy comes out, says he's an assistant manager and says he can't sell it at the online price because it's ‘too much of a difference from the actual in-store price’. So my mother asks to speak to the manager, to which the guy replies that he is the manager. My brother, who’s 5 at this time, looks at this guy and goes ‘Uh...Assistant Manager…’ In the most ice-cold, matter-of-fact tone I've ever heard this kid use. (He calls anyone out if he thinks they're lying, even me, so he doesn't see this as rude, just being helpful.) The guy went silent, and my father and I were trying our hardest not to collapse laughing. We did get the waterslide for the cheaper price though. Thanks, little bro!”
I'm not sure what's worse - being brought down to size by a child in the workplace or actually having to give in to demands of said child in front of your whole staff. Either way this kid's savage mode is on 1000%. It's one thing to have your job performance scrutinized by a stranger's child, but what about when it's your own flesh and blood? This next dad's ego needed some extensive recovery after some pretty harsh words from his daughter.
“I'm a pediatrician and my daughter skinned her knee and was flipping out about it. My wife recruits my help and soothes my daughter by reminding her that I'm a children's doctor. I inspect and clean the wound and I provide reassurance that she'll be okay. She looks back at my wife with kind of a panicked look. She asks my daughter what's wrong and reminds my daughter that I do this for my job. ‘I know, but I'm just worried he might not be very good.’"
Children really know how to push the limits on what they can get away with. A lot of the time, however, they're too innocent to realize the inappropriateness of their actions.
“My nephew is a bundle of funny phrases. His latest escapade was at his own birthday, where he ran into the mother of his self claimed ‘girlfriend’:
Nephew: 'Did you bring Lilly?'
Lilly’s Mom: 'Sure, why wouldn't I?'
Nephew: 'As soon as she's bleeding, I'm gonna put my peepee in her!'
Lilly’s Mom: '... WHAT? ...'
Nephew: 'My mother told me all about it!'
They had some kind of early ‘birds and bee’s talk’ and he had to have still had some questions to his mother. Which may explain his ‘outburst.'"
Let's be real. "The Talk" is definitely not the easiest conversation to have with your child. Maybe having the conversation before they understand what topics are deemed "appropriate" to speak about in public should be a thing. But hey, to each his own. This next kid, however, knew all about the birds and bees.
“I was driving my son and his friend home from a baseball tournament, they were about 12. The kid’s dad was a bit of a loudmouth jerk. He pleaded to ride the two-hour drive with us because he didn’t pitch a very good game and he knew his dad would be yelling at him. I almost lost it when I overheard him tell my kid: ‘I know why my dad hates me, I walked in on him in the bathroom and my Johnson is way bigger than his.’ That was the hardest I ever had to hold back laughter, I honestly don’t know how I held it together.”
Let's face it, keeping secrets as an adult can prove to be difficult at times. Just imagine being a child with a story to tell!
“I was waiting for a haircut and they had a vending machine and this kid wanted to get food, and kept asking his dad for money to buy something. The dad kept saying no and eventually said, ‘You've had plenty of sweets today, you're fine.’ And the kid says ‘I bet mom's new boyfriend would get me something.’ I look at this kid and the dad is shocked. He still had a ring on!”
What's done in the dark will always come to the light, especially if there's a who's child not getting their way that knows about it. See how quickly they turn on you! Kids these days are bold! Whether it's to your face or behind your back, they'll find a way to tell all of your secrets.
"My husband and I were over at a friends house. Her and her husband have two kids together. We were all sitting at the dinner table and the wife was telling us about how she left her job for something "better". She hadn't found anything yet, but gave us a big story about quitting the last job and how she told the boss off. Halfway through the story, their 5 year old daughter blurted out, "Mommy got fired yesterday and she cried". The rest of the dinner was so awkward. Later on that night, my husband tried to down a drink, sneezed at the same time, and it went everywhere. It lightened the mood until we left."
Nothing more brutally honest than a child's opinion. Some of the things they say, however, often make you wonder where they're getting these opinions from. These kids definitely didn't hold back!
“When I was around 14 my mom would pick up a younger girl down the street and take her to school. In return, that girl's mother would pick us up and drive us home from school. One morning, the girl (her name was Danielle, she was around 10) bluntly told my mom ‘Well, you apply your makeup so thick that you look like a clown.’ I know she heard that discussed at home and repeated it. This was a private religious school and her parents were among the more conservative, polite, dare I say 'non-judgmental' that I knew. Or, maybe they weren't.”
A child's perception can be a tricky thing to understand. They absorb everything around them, but most of the time they don't truly grasp concepts like appropriateness, insensitivity, and even age. This next kid needs a sit down about all three!
"I used a video tutorial on social media to paint my face to look like a skull last year for Halloween to match my five-year-old godson, who was dressed as a skeleton. I thought he'd realize we were matching and think it was cool. Later that day he asked me if I look that way ‘because you're so old.’ I said, ‘I'm only 25....’ He thought about it for a second and then his eyes went wide and he said ‘Wow, that's a lot! You're almost dead!”
“My family and my husband's best friend's family were on a joint vacation. In their family, it’s quite normal for them to go about insulting each other jokingly, and somewhat brutally with each other. We’ll say their names are John, Sarah, and Matt.
John: 'Oh, yeah, well your feet smell like week old salami.'
Sarah: 'You smell like an old man with crusty hands, and ears who hasn’t showered in a week.'
Matt: 'You stink like sewage.'
John: 'Your toes are crooked, and look like raw bacon.'
Sarah: 'Oh, yeah, well your parents are dead.
Everyone quite literally gasped in the elevator. It was uncomfortably silent for the rest of the elevator ride. No more shots were fired. No one could ever beat Sarah at that game because we were all dead. It was especially brutal since John’s Dad had been dead for many years, but his mom had just died of a heart attack about a year before."
Darkness does not equal a bad kid. Darkness does not mean there is something to worry about. Although there is no denying that a line exists. It’s a natural thing for kids to be curious about and explore their mind, but where do we draw that line? I would hope at instances like this one.
"I was sitting like two meters away from a mom who was with her son, she was like 24 and the kid was I guess like 3 or 4 years old. He wanted something and she told him 'no.' Then the kid kicks her in the shin.
She started telling him in a very soothing tone that he shouldn't have that behavior and that kind of stuff and then he kicks her again. Then she told him something like, 'What if something happens to me? Why ya wanna hurt me? What if I die?'
And the kid looked her straight into the eyes and told her 'I don't care if you die.'
I had my sunglasses on, so I discreetly turned to see her and I could see her die inside. In like two seconds her eyes were so teary. I was in utter shock at the way he told her that. I was on lunch break when I went back to work someone asked me why my face was so pale. I could only say 'I witnessed the birth of a psycho.'"
"My dog recently passed away and my 4-year-old niece was present for his burial. She said two things that day.
The first was when we were all standing around my dog's grave. It had already been dug, I was just procrastinating on the finality of putting him down there forever. I asked if anybody had any final words for Rowdy Roo. We all talked about him for a bit and called him all of his nicknames. We all took turns shaking our fists at him (just one of those weird pet things). Then we ended up just standing there crying. It had been quiet for a while and little miss niece jut blurts out:
'Well, go on. Put him in. Put him in the hole. Stop crying.' It made the moment right, but she had no idea what she was actually saying. I'm honestly glad I didn't have to make the decision. And out of 4 grown adults, it was the 4 year old who made the decision, unaffected by it.
The second was as my dad and I were lowering my dog into his grave. Little bit of back story, my mom has terminal brain cancer. Her condition had been explained to my nieces and they were both aware that my mom is going to die some day. So here we all are, putting my silly noodle (one if his nick names) to rest and my niece pipes up and says, 'Mama, you's going to be in a hole like this soon. Just bigger.' It was one if those moments where everything just goes silent for a bit and we all looked at each other. My mom, who has limited mental capacity right now, simply replied, 'No, I'm going to be burned.' She meant cremated, but that's what she told my niece. My niece then countered with, 'Oh..... Well that's better against zombies.'"
On a lighter note, this child's lack of emotion helped everyone come to terms with their own grief. Children have the power to influence us, just as much as we influence them. It's a beautiful cycle.
“I used to do behavioral therapy with kids on the autism spectrum and these kids do not hold back. Here are some of my favorites! A kiddo who was in a bad mood and didn’t want to do work yelled at me to “please stop breathing” because the sound was “really annoying”. (Note...I was breathing normally, not through my mouth or with a cold or anything). Another kiddo wanted a different (slightly larger) therapist to play legos in the floor with him. With the most innocent look imaginable he tells her ‘If you come down here and play with me, I’ll help you get up off the floor when we’re done. I know it will be hard for you because of all that extra body.’ My absolute favorite story from working there was when a kiddo (who was obsessed with celebrities) printed off a picture of Daniel Craig and goes up to my coworker (an early 30’s male) and says ‘Don’t you wish you were young and handsome like him’ to which my coworker replied ‘[kiddo] I am at least 20 years younger than him!’ The kiddo looks at the picture of Daniel Craig, looks at my coworker and says ‘That makes it worse then, huh’ and walks away. I seriously can’t even tell that story without laughing about the look on my coworker's face. There were a lot of reasons I left, all being related to the company I worked for, but I seriously miss those kiddos!!”
All in all, children are a blessing of life! Our job is to provide them with the proper tools to navigate through this crazy world. Along the way, there will be a ton of wrong turns and even some accidents, but those are the things that make build character! As parents, we grow with them just as much as they grow with us. Let's face it, kids can say some pretty messed up stuff, but no matter what "savage level" your child is on, cherish those moments. They go by far too quickly.