Kids can say some hurtful things to their parents. Sometimes, they don't know any better, but worse are the times they do. They exactly how to devastate their mom and dads and they do.
(Content has been edited for clarity.)
"Something happened to me with my 8-year-old step-daughter last year. Her biological mom has been in and out of her life for her whole life, and even though I raised her with her father, she still wanted her mother. After we punished her for being suspended from the first grade, she blatantly told me that she hated me and wished her 'real' mom was there.
We had just re-done her entire bedroom ($2,000) not two weeks earlier. New bunk bed, new matching accessories for the whole room, and handmade (by me) custom things for her walls. So, I took down everything I made for her including a hand-painted dresser and cleared out her room. We essentially left it as it was before the make-over. She naturally freaked and screamed and yelled at me for quite a while. When she was finally calm, I explained to her that the lifestyle she had become accustomed to was at an end until she showed some appreciation for the life we have given her.
She has yet to apologize and now lives with her mother. We both got sick and tired of being treated like crap by an 8-year-old. Some kids are just ungrateful jerks. I'm glad yours at least apologized and saw the error of her ways."
"My younger brother was adopted from a Russian orphanage when he was 3 years old. Around the time he was 8 or 9 years old, whenever my mom asked him to do something, he would tell her 'In Russia, I wouldn't have to do this,' or 'I bet my Russian family wouldn't make me do this.' He knew that it would make her feel bad and there was no real way of arguing against it. She tried having conversations, timeouts, and bargaining but nothing worked. Finally, after one particularly bad dinner where he refused to eat his dinner because 'he wouldn't have to eat these vegetables in Russia' my mom snapped and said, 'Fine, you wanted to be treated like you were in Russia, I'll treat you like you are still in Russia.'
She pulled his mattress out of his room and stuck it in the living room, only fed him cabbage and boiled meats, took away all of his toys but one run down teddy bear and some baby toys, made him wash and wear the same clothes every day, and didn't let him watch tv or play video games. And that was a kinder version of what he would have experienced in the orphanage. My brother is super stubborn and lasted about 3 1/2 days before he finally begged my mom for some chicken nuggets and apologized for being a jerk.
You better believe he never did that again."
"This is something I saw/overheard in a Target.
I was in the same aisle as a mom, her daughter, and her daughter's friend. The girls must have been around 16 at most. You could tell the mom was trying hard to fit in with their conversation. Asking 'Wow, isn't this shirt cute? Wow, look at this nail polish!' That kind of thing. They kept ignoring her pretty much or cackling with each other whenever she tried giving some input. It was sad for me to watch. You could tell that this mom just wanted some approval. Just wanted to be close to her daughter.
Her mom steps out of the aisle for a second, and as soon as she leaves, her friend says 'your mom is weird.' The daughter replies with 'Weird? She's a fat cow!' Her mom immediately turns the corner with tears in her eyes and says to her, 'How can you say that?' Her daughter just laughs and tells her that maybe she should look at the treadmills instead and to leave them alone. The mother just walks away.
It was heartbreaking. I have no idea who these people were, but I sincerely hope she realized what she does is hurtful and gets a grip."
"My step-daughter (Jen) who was 8, once got angry and smug and mater-of-fact-ly told me, 'I don't have to listen to you; you're not my real dad.' Her mom (Ashley) was standing right there and almost stepped in, but I intervened and said that Jen had the right to express her views however she wanted.
I calmly and quietly got up from the table and went to Jen's bedroom and started taking items off the shelves and out of the dresser and closet. I began piling them up outside her door and packing things into bags and boxes. Jen ran to the room when she heard the noise and screamed, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL MY STUFF?'
I calmly told her that I wasn't her real dad and felt terrible about trying to pretend to be. I wanted to treat her as such, so in fairness, I was going to take back all the things I bought her in the past few years and allow her to keep things her real dad bought her, or have him replace them.
She stood in the middle of her empty bedroom; TV, TV stand, DVD player, DVD's, Super Nintendo, bed (including sheets, comforter, stuffed animals, etc.), toys, dresser, and clothes removed. Only a few clothing items and a stuffed animal or two remained, and she stood around in shock and awe.
Jen came and found me after I left the room and went about my business as if nothing happened. She walked up, hugged me, and thanked me for everything I had provided her. Jen also apologized for being mean and saying hurtful things. That's the day that she learned that being a parent is more than just biological, and despite me not being her 'real dad' I provided more for her and her sister than her bio-dad ever did.
I know it sounds extreme, and I know some parents out there are going to vilify me for the way I handled the whole thing, but the bottom line is this: she never used the 'real dad' line against me again. She always thanked me for providing for and supporting her in whatever she did, and respected me, in general, more knowing that I CHOSE to love and provide for her, rather than doing so because I HAD to and treating her and her needs like a burden."
"Not a parent, but my nephew once said something to me I'll never forget and I thought was hurtful.
About four or five years ago, my father was seriously ill with pneumonia and a chest infection and recently had a couple of heart attacks among numerous other things, he was in the ICU where you had to wear a mask and apron and wash your hands every other second all that jazz.
One day a group of us were visiting, and one of the doctors pulled us into a small room and told us the situation with my father. He said, 'It's not looking good,' and gave him a 10-percent chance of recovery. We were devastated, and many of us were in tears when he left us in the room to come to terms with it all.
Skip forward an hour, and we were in the waiting room taking turns to go inside and visit him. While my mother and aunt were in the room, we were all sitting there passing the time. Meanwhile, my youngest nephew was playing with another child that was there getting along fine when (being the brat that he was) he had a little falling out with the other kid and decided to steal one of his toys and come back over to us. Being the only one to see this, I called him out on it, making him take it back and apologize. Having shamed him in front of everyone, he came back over towards me and out of nowhere screamed, 'YOUR DAD'S DEAD' in a waiting room full of strangers, his parents, cousins, and his aunt. I guess at the time he didn't realize it was his mother's dad as well as his aunt's.
Needless to say, the room instantly fell silent, mouths were open, and without making a sound my sister (his mother) and her significant other grabbed him and took him straight out of the room, I assume to not upset the other visitors while tearing him a new one so to speak. When they came back he didn't say another word all day."
"My younger brother continually has these fits of rage. I'm convinced that he's a sociopath. Anyway, about year ago, when he was 16 years old, he screamed, 'I wish cancer had killed you!' at my mom, who was, and still is, recovering from leukemia.
I never asked her how she felt about it. But, personally, this is one of my most painful memories. I carry a lot of shame for the fact that I have never stood up to him. I know my dad does, too. Sometimes he gets real quiet and asks me, 'What did I do wrong?'
Nothing anyone has ever said to my brother has made him feel responsible for the pain he causes. I wish I could beat the snot out of him, but I'm a woman, and he's bigger than me."
"I am not a parent, but I would like to share a story how I have been horrible as a kid to them. I want to say that I have the most amazing father and mother. I also want to add that I was bipolar, so it was tough controlling my emotions.
I had been particularly vicious in my cycles that day; I had been manic, depressed and angry by the end of the day. After I got manic, I got sad enough to say that I wanted to kill myself. I had a knife in my hand at the time, so they took this seriously. I was then angry at them for not letting me end it, to get away from the misery, my dad and I fought for a while (verbally). In the end, he wrestled me into submission (not hurting me, like standard wrestling). I was still angry and wouldn't calm down, so my mom called the cops. By the time the police got there, I was still angry. They ended up hauling me away in handcuffs. On the way out of my room, I told them 'I hated them and that they were the worst parents. I hope I get new parents because you guys suck so much. I hope you die' Then I spit at my dad's feet.
I never want to see that face again; I am almost in tears as I remember how I hurt them both.
I went to the police station, the cops got a social worker, and it was a whole mess. I ended up going back home with them after 5-6 hours. Now I will add, after this, I never went to the police station again. Similar incidents had the cops called but by the time they got there. I had calmed down and did not say a word to them. This was so I was not hauled down to the police station again.
They will both never read this, but if it weren't for the amazing parenting they did, I would have never come out successful. I love my mom and dad to death and will do anything for them. My dad is by far the coolest person I will ever know.
Seeing my eldest brother helped me also, he is a screw-up and has aspects of schizophrenia. My rage at him for the things he has done to my family and I helped me become successful."
"Shortly after my parents (mom and stepdad) got married we were celebrating our first Christmas together and decorating the Christmas tree. My step-father who married my mom the month before accidentally dropped Christmas decorations and shattered them. We have accumulated the majority of our Christmas decorations since I was an infant, and all of them are old, each with its own story. The decorations he dropped were not particularly relevant to our sentimental collection, but in the heat of the moment, I looked at him and said, 'Nice going,' and then looked at my mom and said something like, 'Why doesn't he just go ahead and shatter the rest of them.' The look on his face at that moment still haunts me.
In the 15 years they have been married, I have grown to love and respect my step-dad more than my own father. He has always kept his promises; he has helped me when I needed it, he has given me advice, he has explained my homework to me, he jokes around with me, he is an all-around fantastic individual, and I could never picture him not being in my life. Still to this day, he refuses to help decorate the Christmas tree and every Christmas; it reminds me just how nasty and mean I was in that moment of anger toward him. Not my proudest moment."
"My eldest son seems to have a hobby of trying out new insults on me just to see what kind of reaction he'll get. Once, he screamed that he was going to be Christian (his father and I are pagan) and was more than a little nonplussed when I laughed, handed him a Bible and offered to take him to the church of his choice on Sunday morning. That was the end of that.
'I wish I were dead,' and any variant thereof is the worst, IMO."
"When I paid off my credit card and canceled it, my Netflix subscription lapsed, which pissed off my kids.
We were in Costco, it was hectic, and I was looking at a tray of steaks when my teenage daughter said loudly 'Are you sure you can afford that, Dad? I mean, come on, you can't even afford Netflix'."
"Not something I directly said to my mom, but I'm sure it hurt her.
When I was around 15, I went on a school trip, and while I was away, she redecorated my room and found my diary. I'd written something along the lines of 'maybe I should go out and get myself murdered, it'd be better than living here.' Reading that your child would rather be dead/killed in a violent way than have you as a mother must be pretty devastating."
"My little sister once told my mom 'You're not very attractive.' And when my mom looked obviously hurt, she went 'What? I mean I'm just saying you need to lose weight and stuff.' She was 7 years old at the time.
This most likely came from the fact that my mom had said that she needed to lose weight and was going on a diet out loud. And my mom was self-conscious about her weight at the time, and she knew that my sister didn't understand the power of what she was saying. But still. That cut deep."
"Stupid 'Witch!' - but it wasn't 'witch, it was the one that rhymes with witch. It came from son when he was 3 years old (I divorced his father, and I was called this quite often by him). My son would say it whenever he didn't get his way. The final time he said it, we were at Walmart. He asked for a toy; I said no, he yelled out 'Stupid 'witch.' I said don't you say that! At this point, shoppers had stopped to watch. He said it again. I slapped the snot out him, right in the face. The other people clapped, he never said that again. Scary moment! Didn't know what to think or what was going to happen to me if I smacked him in public, but honestly, I had tried everything to make him stop! I had done all of these things many times before I got to that point."
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"My wife and I adopted a child. He told my wife one day, 'I want new parents.' It crushed her. All because my wife wouldn't give him ice cream. He's 5 years old, but it still stings when you can't have children and the one you love so much seemingly doesn't care about you."
"My daughter said that everything she hates about herself was passed down from me, such as being short, having heavier legs and hips, having a 'fat face.' She also said because of my gene pool; she lived in fear of having high blood pressure and diabetes. She never mentioned any positive traits my side of the family had, such as artistic and musical abilities, being successful business people, or being highly respected and admired in their communities. When she says she hates my traits in her she is essentially saying she hates me."
"I live in a somewhat yuppie neighborhood, and although I have a well paying 'white collar' job, I have a lot of tattoos (strategically hidden scars of my late teens, early 20s). I am also a young, single dad (I am 32, and I have a 12-year-old and a 10-year-old) and relatively laid back.
My daughter (who is 12) has friends that come over all the time to hang out at our house. And almost every time right after they leave my daughter comes up to me and says something along the lines of 'Dad, my friends think you are cool. I keep trying to convince them that you aren't but they keep saying it.' I feel like a failure as a father (not because she doesn't think I am cool, but because her friends do think I am cool)."
"I'm not a parent, but I was guilty of being a mean teenage girl when I was 16 years old. I'm going to preface this with the fact that my mom died when I was 11 years old, and I had a lot of trouble with it. So once, when I was about 16, my father told me to clear the table for dinner and for some reason or another I just didn't want to do it, and we ended up yelling at each other. I ended the fight by stopping cold and simply saying 'We haven't eaten together at the table in five years.' The second I said it I wanted to take it back, it was apparent how much it hurt him. I still feel bad almost four years later."
"My step-kids were playing pretend and had a potion shop. I got a free potion of my choice for letting them use some grocery bags we had around. They offered me poison. I asked, 'What would I want poison for?' They said 'So you could kill yourself!' and started laughing."
"I was 12 years old and had just attempted suicide days prior. I had it in my mind that my parents were partially responsible because they were a lot of the reason I was so depressed and anxious.
I was being shipped to an inpatient facility the next day. There wasn't much talk at first, but eventually, my mother tearfully told me that I could not do this to her ever again.
I know it was callous and irrational, but I wanted her to hurt. After all, she'd made me hurt. I thought of how my parents put my brother up for adoption because my parents were way too young to have a baby. She and my father had said it was one of the most painful things they ever had to go through.
I replied to her, 'Why? If I do, will you just get rid of me like you did to my brother?'"